Origami Mommy

Salsa summer

In the summer I make a lot of dishes that have a cool, light vibe. For instance, last night we made a terrific chicken satay dish from a blog with the delightful name My Kids Eat Squid. When I read the recipe, I knew I had to make it immediately because not only was it full of spice and flavor, it was accompanied by a delicious sweet-sour cucumber relish. Relish, salsa, sauces - these make a dish shine and make a simple meal seem a lot more exciting. I made the satay (substituting vinegar for the lime juice and adding coconut milk to the marinade instead of basting with it) and it was a complete, satisfying meal alongside jasmine rice.

Today I'm sharing two really simple recipes with you. One dish I make pretty frequently is somewhat similar in principle to the chicken satay recipe. I marinate salmon, grill or broil it, and then top it off generously with a flavorful salsa. It's the dish below on the right, served along with a potato gratin and some roasted asparagus.

Broiled Salmon with Tomato, Red Onion, and Cilantro Salsa

Ingredients: 

Salmon fillet

Ripe tomatoes

Red onion

Cilantro

Lemon or balsamic vinegar

Olive juice

White wine

Salt and pepper

1. Marinate the salmon for several hours in a small glass or ceramic dish in a quarter cup of wine and a few tablespoons of olive oil.

2. Chop up the tomatoes, red onion, and cilantro. Add some olive oil to moisten, season with salt and pepper, and add a splash of lemon juice or balsamic vinegar if desired. Toss lightly, and chill until serving time. 

3. Take the salmon out of the marinade, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and grill or broil until it's done. Top with the salsa and serve. 

Here's another recipe for a summery side dish that would be great with a main dish of broiled steak or chicken. Even though the ingredients are commonplace, it's the presentation that makes this appealing. And of course, using the freshest ingredients you can (think just picked, sun-warmed tomatoes) makes this sublime.

Chopped Cucumber and Baby Tomato Salad

 

Ingredients:

Baby tomatoes

Onion

Cucumbers

Dressing ingredients (use what you have on hand and want to use - it can be as simple as olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and salt and pepper. Some chopped basil would be good too. Or sesame oil, rice vinegar, soy sauce, and sugar for an Asian-style meal).

1. Cut baby tomatoes in half. 

2. Chop cucumber and onion as fine as you can. Top the baby tomatoes with the cucumber/onion mixture, then sprinkle with dressing right before serving. 

Do you have any favorite recipes that are similar (a grilled or broiled main topped with or accompanied by a fresh, chopped vegetables?) I'd love some new ideas!

Home birth in Japan

A friend of mine - a French woman whose son is in the same class as B. - just had her third baby here in Tokyo. She had a home birth. My third baby, M., was also born at home.

M. with one of our midwives soon after her birth

My first two births were very good experiences, although the labors were very long. I had those babies at a birth center in the U.S. The first birth felt particularly special because I had been hospitalized with a complication for nearly a month from 33-38 weeks. To have been able to birth my baby as I'd hoped to was unexpected and very sweet. I think it's likely that had I birthed in a hospital back home, the births would have been hurried along in some way, since the pushing stage in the first labor was four hours and not much shorter in my second. 

The day before we moved to Japan, I found out I was pregnant with our third child. So one of the first things I did when I got settled in was look for a midwife. 

There are many options for birth here. Usually women birth in a hospital, clinic, or birth house. I think the culture here probably supports natural birth better than back home, regardless of where you choose to birth. (I birthed my fourth baby in a Japanese hospital - and someday I will tell you that story, too - it was quite similar to my birth center births). The vast majority of my Japanese friends have had unmedicated births (in hospitals), so much so that it's utterly unremarkable. That I've had four babies naturally is taken for granted here; even the discomfort of labor is not spoken of that much. Among my friends here, birth isn't not spoken of with particular pride either - it just is what it is. Women give birth - their bodies were made to give birth - that's the message I hear, here.

I've also met quite a few women who have given birth at home. Here's the cover of a book written by one of them, my friend Ito Emiko, who blogs here. Her husband took photos of their fourth child's home birth for this wonderful photo essay:

 

I had no real reason to fear unnecessary interventions or a high c-section rate if I chose a hospital here for my third baby, but I decided to look for a home birth midwife. 

Having a home birth here was such a wonderful experience on so many levels. It was, of course, amazing to be able to labor and birth in my own home. I felt extremely relaxed, and it was good to know my boys were nearby, with all of us in a familiar environment. I'd woken up in the middle of the night in labor, called our midwife, and even baked a cake (inspired by a friend of mine who had baked a pineapple upside down cake in early labor). I loved being able to putter around in my own home during labor. Labor moved so quickly that I forgot to put eggs in the cake!

It was really interesting to compare midwifery care between the U.S. and Japan. There were many more similarities - the focus on emotional, not just physical, care for a pregnant and laboring mother; the way pregnancy and birth are regarded as natural processes; the midwives' quiet, unobtrusive presence once active labor begins. One of the main differences I noticed had to do with diet. My Japanese midwife focused a lot more on what I ate than my midwives back home had - not weight gain, but what I was eating. I was advised not to eat anything that would chill my body, particularly my midsection. There's a tremendous emphasis on keeping your midsection adequately warm when you're pregnant, based, I'm guessing, on traditional medicinal beliefs about keeping your core warm. Many women wear belly warmers, even in summer. The other area I was advised to keep warm were my feet and ankles. Almost all the Japanese pregnant women I saw were wearing leggings and socks, even in the heat of summer. I was advised to do moxibustion on my inner ankles every day. I was a total skeptic at first, I'll admit. I've heard of moxibustion being performed to help breech babies turn, but it was hard for me to find information about it really helping promote a smoother labor (although the inner ankle points are the same ones used to help induce labor naturally via acupressure). But I figured it couldn't hurt so I tried it for the last few months. And I did start to tune in and notice which areas of my body were feeling cold . 

In any case, my girl was born within five hours. What a happy morning that was!

My friend Jennifer reports on homebirth under fire in the U.S. It makes me sad - especially given my perspective and experience about how normal and unremarkable it seems to be to give birth naturally here - that birth is such a fraught, contested issue back home. 

I'm fascinated by how birth is regarded around the world. What sort of birth options are there where you live? What's the dominant cultural message you hear about birth? 

Water Safety

One of the things I find overwhelming as a school parent in Japan is the sheer amount of paperwork that comes home. In front of me I have an info sheet reminding me that today is the annual "fall into the swimming pool with all your clothes on" so the children can learn how to save themselves if, well, they ever fall into water with all their clothes on. Isn't this interesting, that they do this with the kids every year? My husband says he only practiced doing this when he was training to become a lifeguard.

Here's the list of things the boys need to pack in their swimming bags:

navy blue school swimsuit 

swimming cap

flip flops 

swimming card (on swimming days we are supposed to take their temperature and record it and sign it and send it in. No signature, no swimming. This is a challenge for me since I almost never take their temperatures and hate having to add one more task to the morning rush)

an extra set of clothes

Shoes (this will be a tough one, as the boys only have one or two pair of shoes each and only one of those are sneakers. They're not allowed to wear crocs to school - too much running around/recess/gym class)

a two-liter empty water bottle (to use as a float?)

an empty plastic bag with no holes in it, plus one or two more for carrying wet clothes home

Swimming is taught in Japanese school, and during summer vacation the pool is open for swim class during the morning as well. Kids take swim tests to move up through fifteen different levels. I think this is generally a good thing, although the water is freezing apparently. My Japanese friends are surprised to hear that most schools in the US don't have their own pools (I don't know of any at all, in fact). Swimming is a part of the national curriculum here.

Here's a photo from the annual "pool opening day" - every year there is a little ceremony with speeches and skits (including role playing what NOT to do around the pool - some of the older kids pretend to fool around, much to the delight of the little ones), then the kids go into the pool for the first time that school year. The ones in yellow hats are first graders - they're the only ones who don't go into the pool on the first day.

 

The first graders are wearing their gym uniforms, too - white tops with navy bottoms. Usually they wear a red cap instead of the yellow hats. There's a fondness for hats here!

Notice the lovely urban backdrop? That's what life is like in Tokyo. I am envious of those of you who have a nice view out your windows. Enjoy it.

Here's a photo of some kids walking home on one of the quiet narrow streets that abound here, on their way towards the bigger streets. The first graders (in the yellow hats) also put a yellow cover on their backpacks so that they'll be more visible. The little tiny bags hanging off their backpacks are bags containing their lunch mats (placemats) and a toothbrush. I don't remember carrying either of those to school when I was little. 

 

Our boys learned to swim from us (in fact, I remember teaching B to swim when we went on a vacation in Japan and my husband remarked on how many little toddlers he saw who were able to swim). I once tried to enroll D in a Japanese swimming class that several friends were taking their children to. There were so many children, and so few teachers, and it just wasn't a gentle approach - felt more like a factory. I pulled him out because I felt in my gut that that particular class wouldn't at all suit him. Now he swims like a fish, and I'm wondering how we'll teach our daughter M to swim. She's 3 1/2 and she seems fearful of the water, but water is one of the things I feel really worried about until I know my kids are able to stay afloat on their own. 

Tell me about swimming where you live - how do most children learn to swim? How do you talk to your kids about staying safe around water? Any thoughts on helping my daughter learn to become more comfortable as she learns to swim?

Free-range kids

A few days ago, the school held a safety class for the children, followed by an information session for parents. At this class, they were given this pamphlet:

and taught a few moves and tips for being vigilant as they walk to and from school. They were reminded to do things like stay aware, look behind them, and look alert, not daydreamy; keep a certain amount of distance between themselves and the next person; use their very loud safety buzzer (each child keeps one on his or her backpack) in short frequent bursts if they feel someone suspicious is nearby. They did a lot of role playing of various scenarios and were taught how to use all of their senses to empower themselves. Parents were given tips too, all of which were new to me and very, very interesting.

Here, children begin walking to school by themselves in first grade, which means ages 6-7, usually in little groups of kids walking together. They are also taking public transportation such as trains or buses by themselves. Kids also commute to lessons and to meet friends in the park. They have regular safety classes at school where they learn about traffic safety.  They do this whether they live in the city and have to navigate traffic lights, or in the countryside walking on isolated roads or through rice paddies.

There are parents who don't start quite this young, depending on how far the school is, but after being here for so long I've gotten quite used to the common sight of little ones walking around on their own in their little school hats and backpacks. There's even a well-known children's book called "My First Errand," about a little girl who walks to the neighborhood store to buy a carton of milk for her mother. "I can do it," she tells her mom, "because after all, I'm five!" She has all sorts of little adventures - running into a friend, tripping and losing hold of her coins, getting to the store and finding it hard to speak loudly enough to get the owner's attention, forgetting her change - but she is proud of herself at the end.

 

 

Mission accomplished!

This is one of the things that I feel makes life feel easier for parents here, when kids can go around on their own. Imagine, no carpools, no traffic and stress. No trying to juggle schedules for siblings with different activities (made worse by the fact that schools often don't get out on time and classes end at a different time each day).  Of course, I have seen parents who go to meet their children at school to pick them up, or walk them part way till they get to an intersection with a cross guard. But the overwhelming majority of kids go about on their own. 

It probably takes a certain amount of faith in the universe to say goodbye to little ones in the morning and trust they'll be home later on.  But I think the little kids here doing this every day are becoming savvy about things like traffic and finding their way around, and know what to do about minor problems like getting caught in the rain. I remember when feeling conflicted about this (and in many ways, as a bicultural parent, I still do), talking with a friend from the U.S. about this. She said that when parents are overprotective, they only think about the theoretical dangers they are protecting their children from, and not the sense of adventure, of competence, and the survival instinct that young children who do this are able to develop and hone. A Japanese friend tells me that Japanese returnees - Japanese kids who spent time in the US - are known to have trouble finding their way around when they first come back, because they didn't learn how to develop a sense of direction. 

It's a controversial topic, I know. And I know there are many differences between U.S. and Japanese society that come into play, too many for me to attempt to make any generalizations about the way things should be anywhere. But I see this same sort of letting go in smaller ways too here - in the way that, from a very young age, parents encourage their children to work things out on their own rather than having an adult intervene, hover, advise in their interactions and problems. For better or for worse, these are some salient differences that have really jumped out at me as a parent in two very different countries.

What's it like where you live? At what age do you see children walking around on their own? 

Summer sewing

Sewing is a huge challenge for me right now (how do those of you with babies do it?!!!) but the intense craving to sew something quick and summery just would not be satisfied until I did it. So I did! I made summery little dresses in subdued Fourth of July colors for my girls.

I'm always torn about whether I'm better off using a pattern or not. I'm such a sloppy sewer! I'm really much better off knitting because yarn is more forgiving. For some reason my sewing shears always get dull right away and the fabric I cut looks all chopped up, with crooked edges. I don't measure very well - I can't find my ruler right now. I made bias trim without any tools, just kind of slashing away at the fabric on the diagonal and then sort of folding it together under an iron. So if you take a close look, it's really quite crooked. Also, my sewing machine is fading away on me - the zigzag doesn't work, so these have been put together quite precariously - if I put them through a washing machine I'm afraid the delicate seams won't hold up! So impractical!

But anyway, I decided to try to make the camisole from a pattern (though I had the same problem with the bias trim), and I'm very glad I did. I have a small but growing collection of Japanese sewing books, which I look through for inspiration more than anything else. This is from one of them. 

One concrete thing I learned from actually cutting out and using this pattern is that the cloth has to be cut deceptively wide, much wider than I'd ever imagine it has to be (as you can see in the below), to get a nice swingy look that, in the end, isn't that wide at all.

 

The pillowcase dress is a bit too narrow all around because I didn't follow a pattern. Would be OK on an upright, walking child, but on a crawling baby, it's too constricting and would have been better off as a little top. So now I know what to do next time!

My goal last summer was to work through at least a few patterns from my Japanese sewing books.....this year I'm going to be less ambitious and more realistic and just see what I can do. I'll be happy with any small bits of sewing I manage to do. 

Japanese school food

When we went back to the U.S., one of the things that we experienced culture shock over was the food. Home, school, and institutional cooking is so very different here - it's also pretty different from the stereotypical Japanese dishes you get in Japanese restaurants in the U.S.

Here's the menu for my kids' public school lunch here in Japan over the next few days:

Vegetable fried rice, tofu and kinoko mushroom soup, spicy bean sprouts

Chilled udon with tofu, soy bean and sweet potato fritters, fruit with rice flour dumplings

Bibimbap (a Korean dish - rice with mixed vegetables and an egg), tofu and wakame soup, a plum

Somen noodles with chicken croquettes, chilled boiled komatsuna (a leafy green vegetable similar to spinach), corn, and "Tanabata" gelatin (made special for the Tanabata holiday coming up).

Yukari rice (yukari is a Japanese herb like sesame leaves or basil), whiting fish in a miso/mayo glaze, vegetables in sesame dressing, miso soup

French garlic bread, minestrone soup, cabbage and corn salad

Barley rice with yukari pickles, gingery pork saute, daikon and wakame miso soup

Rice, edamame, mackerel croquettes with grated daikon and soy sauce, clear soup, braised cabbage

Summer vegetable curry, daikon salad, and homemade peach sorbet.

Note that 1) dessert is a rarity (usually it's a small portion of fresh fruit if anything), 2) the food is heavy on grains and vegetables with only small portions of protein, such as small fish (low on the food chain) or side-dish-sized portions of meat, 3) they strive to introduce children to a variety of cuisines (though rice, and Asian flavors, do predominate, and 4) everything is made fresh. The fully-functioning kitchen is on the first floor of the school and our children personally all know the people who make their food. 

Dining etiquette is a pretty big thing here too. The children take turns serving each other in their classroom and then all sit down at tables in their classroom and wait until everyone is seated to begin. I like that the children are taught to sit down to appreciate their meal instead of eating it on the run. They bring their own placemats. They're expected not to waste food, but to eat everything on their plates. Pickiness is strongly discouraged. Everyone cleans up afterwards together - clearing plates, wiping tables, bringing dishes back tthe kitchen, cleaning the floors. Despite how one might feel about some of the etiquette taught in schools - I'm not in favor of every aspect of it and some of it might be considered downright rigid -  at the very least, it's been a chance for our kids to learn that foods - and not just food, but food customs and food culture - are different all around the world. And, sad to say, they've noticed a few things about food culture back home - such as the preponderance of kids' meals and the generally unhealthy offerings for school lunch. (Although I just found a great Facebook page about school lunches done right: School Meals that Rock).

We've never been able to live somewhere where we could cultivate a garden, so I've been happy that here, in most nursery and elementary schools, children grow and harvest vegetables - D brought us baby eggplant a few days in a row and proudly cut it up and served it, and when daikon was in season he brought baby daikon for us to sample.

My kids also gained confidence cutting up vegetables in nursery school - there's a yearly event at which the oldest kids in the school prepare curry lunch for themselves and their parents. 

It's not just in schools that you get freshly prepared food. When I had my fourth baby here - my first time giving birth in a hospital - I was nervous about having to rely on someone else for food but frankly, it was a lot tastier than what I could have managed for myself! Look at these photos:

 Okay, the green beans in the first photo look terribly overcooked, but everything else was fresh. 

And a final photo here is M eating the Japanese version of fast food at a food court in a mall - simple udon noodles.

No place is perfect, and certainly it's not like that here either. We got into a white bread habit that we can't seem to shake (white bread, or "shokupan," is the most commonly found bread around, and white rice and white noodles, as you can see above, are also pretty standard fare). French pastries are hugely popular, as are convenience store treats like Pocky, and of course there are still plenty of other unhealthy options. There's less acceptance of different ways of eating or things like food allergies and intolerances (though awareness of that is growing). And fast food restaurants do abound (the same food court where M ate those noodles has a McDonalds and Mister Donut too). There are some food "rules" I still don't understand, like the disdain for raw produce (considered too cooling for the body), but overall I feel like living here has helped influence us for the better in many ways when it comes to our eating habits and food awareness.

So to sum up, some key values are:

the importance of eating together, sitting down and appreciating your meal.

shopping daily or frequently for fresh ingredients, in small amounts, and less reliance on processed foods. Protein is served in small portions; vegetables predominate.

serving snacks and sweets in very small portions. Traditional sweets rely on sweetened bean paste or rice although there are modern, sugar-laden treats as well.

I'm excited that there's a food revolution brewing in the US - it's so long overdue. In addition to checking out School Meals that Rock, take a look at these two blogs - their commentary on current kid/food matters always inspires and informs: LettuceEatKale: Musings on Food, Family, Friends, and Growing Greens and SpoonFed: Raising Kids to Think About the Food They Eat.

What's the food culture like around you? If you have children who go to school, what's the school food like? What do you like and what (if anything) do you wish you could change, and what do you do to encourage your kids to eat healthfully?

Guest Post at Words To Eat By - Asian Noodle Salad

Come visit my guest blog post at Words to Eat By, the blog of my friend Debbie Koenig, a fabulous and funny writer who is publishing her own cookbook, Parents Need to Eat Too, next year. (Her chocolate chip cookie recipe is on my list of must-tries). For this post, I wrote about Asian Noodle Salad, which is one of our go-to light meals in the summertime. 

I like it because it's light and simple and enormously flexible - you use whatever vegetables you have on hand. And it's full of family memories - it's a recipe I learned from my mother and then adapted as I was inspired by our various travels throughout Asia. 

What is your favorite light meal when it's hot out?